Ignorance and Fantasy

Are beliefs not often the children of ignorance and fantasy? Consider the heavenly view of the world that young souls entertain at the height of their innocence, when their youth has been surrounded by love and filled with happiness. Hear their laughter. Dreams expand in a vacuity of knowledge like a laughing gas and induce the blindest, the purest joy. Ignorance is bliss, as they say, because it spares us the mental restraints associated with knowledge (which reveals the limits of reality and hence the impossibility of our fantasies). It is the ultimate playground where the mind can build castles in the air, create a wonderland, and live delightedly in this kingdom of reverie. It paves the way for the reign of error, as it leaves us to believe whatever we like. Everything that is desirable is realizable, if not real, until we find evidence to the contrary. Santa Claus eventually dies of our old age – when we are no longer so young, so green, that we are easily fooled by a tall story. In truth, however wise we may be, we are still at risk. We spontaneously indulge in fantasies about the world here below, which is never totally known, or the beyond, which is unknowable. We are always tempted to believe that our health, our relationships, our career, or any other part of our life, will be wonderful, or that our death will not be an end, but a passage from here to a paradisal hereafter. This temptation is irresistible for many when they discover a charismatic fortuneteller or spiritual leader who professes this belief, which remains unproven nonetheless. Our believing is then the result of ignorance and fantasy, plus faith. An example of self-deceit that concerns young idealists and betrays their warm-blooded aspiration for perfect love is the illusive passion they often experience toward attractive members of the opposite sex whom they little know. By perfect love I mean a complete and durable harmony at every level – physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual – between two lovers. It involves friendship to a high degree, as the words “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” suggest. While it includes lust, it transcends and transfigures it. Pop songs are common vehicles for this ideal, which entices many young souls. I am thinking of young men in particular, who are usually quick to fantasize about pretty young women and fall madly in love with them, or rather with a fantastical image of them. This quickness is typical of their ardent and imprudent youth. It needs nothing more than a few smiles and nods, a few gracious words of agreement, to make these young men imagine they have found a soul mate, as they pour out their inner self – their sense of what is good, true, right, or sacred. A few auspicious signs and, voilà, they take the pretty young women for dream girls and are besotted with them! A few misleading signs, in fact. Every charm hides a cause for alarm. If, in the struggle for survival and happiness, society is a cure for individual limitations (an imperfect cure to be sure, with side effects), it is also a pill hard to swallow. Civility is a smooth sugar coating that eases the swallowing. Give thanks to those who phrase their discontentment with delicacy and embellish it with a compliment and an encouragement. No nagging, no gagging. Sometimes civility excludes honesty and amounts to well-meaning or self-serving hypocrisy. It turns into servility through a mix of kindness and weakness, or through pure selfishness. One way or another, some people are fooled, kept in the dark, while they should live wisely, in the light of knowledge. They are denied truth: the opportunity to conceive of their true situation and achieve their true purpose. Young men, among the fantasizers I referred to earlier, are often lured by the social graces of pretty young women. The poor fish take the hook and eventually discover they have made a mistake, like many others in the same boat. The dream girls were ordinary maidens or vixens who first behaved and talked infinitely sweet, and later proved lovable in a limited way or revealed their sour temper. A long intimacy is a good test of a couple's true nature. It always strips relationships of the silky appearance they sometimes have initially, when seduction overrides every other consideration. This appearance is superficial and deceptive like the outer layers of an onion. Once it is removed, after a succession of changes that marked a gradual return to naturalness, conflicts arise. The truth is uncovered; tears are shed. Many young fantasizers part from their lovers at this point. They embark on another relationship until the next disillusion, the next dissolution, then embark on another relationship, and so forth. They do the same in other areas of life, starting this or that with high expectations and quitting upon the first difficulties, time and again. They never settle for less than perfection; they never build anything to speak of. Some of these fantasizers stop this nonsense after a number of disappointments and finally change into brave realists. Their bravery distinguishes them from other disenchanted souls who give up hope to give in to laziness with a clear conscience. These defeatists confuse their attitude with realism and suffer nullity or mediocrity rather than fight for excellence, which is possible, unlike perfection. In their view, humans are in their element only when fantasizing, like fish when swimming. In fact, humans – who are adaptable – are closer to amphibians than to fish. They can come back to earth without dying of frustration, and even better, with a chance to live happily, thanks to a blend of struggle and resignation that yields joy and serenity. Brave realists know and accept the conditions and limitations of happiness. They think it all the more precious as it has a high cost and is bound to be lost sooner or later. They also understand that although one may indulge in a fickle existence for a while, one must eventually commit and apply oneself to a particular relationship, study, or career, in spite of imperfections and difficulties, if one wishes to achieve something worthy of mention. Nothing good can come from a search for better that always leaves one thing for another.

Yanking my date through an Israeli security services lie detector…

I was on holiday in Blackpool when I picked up my first advice on finding love. While waiting for my sister to recover after her stomach churning rollercoaster ride, I stuck 20p into a Love-O-Meter outside a sports pub. After my coin clicked down the pegs, the fiberglass female’s face flashed and shook like the washer-dryer under my sink, before requesting I stick my thumb into a gooey gum-filled finger hole. A strip of yellow paper popped from the slot. “8/10. You’re hot, but not too hot, big boy! But that’s enough for some lucky lady!” A top twenty percent score surely meant I’d meet a world-class soul-mate. But here I am fifteen years later in London, and after a few serious (and several scary) relationships, I’m still waiting for that mechanical maiden’s prediction to come true. Only two months back, after ending a three-year relationship with my former flat-mate’s sister, I re-joined the nation’s throng of nine million singles. Strangely, it was the ex’s womanizing brother that helped ease me back into the dating scene. Davis had the mastered the art of pulling women on dating sites and had been working them well before they became socially acceptable (three years ago I wouldn’t dream of hitting the online personals). But after ‘playing the virtual field’, David found his dream girl, dated her for five months and has since booked his white wedding at Farnborough Castle for next year. Given the amount of talent he could choose from, I wasn’t surprised to hear that he put Lisa through a fairly extensive evaluation process. What I couldn’t believe was that he hooked her up to some sort of voice machine to test her sincerity. “You gotta screen ‘em before you meet ‘em. If you can’t tell if she likes you, put her through the Passion Meter.” I was curious to see how love-testing had evolved since my Love-O-Meter experience. The only problem was that I had to hit the online dating scene to find out. When David told me to go to try the Passion Meter at www.datingdonut.com, I was sure I’d find fake photos of fit females and fabulous men concealing some sad lot secretly stuffing themselves with pies, chips and (of course) donuts. I first decided to do a bit of online research and quickly discovered online personals had become the most popular method for singles to meet in this country. According to the Times, 3.6 million Brits used an online dating site in 2005 and the online dating market in this country is set to grow to around £50 million in two years. Incredibly, already over 65% of single people now used the internet to meet people and half of them believing they will meet a suitable partner on the internet. And (not surprisingly) over 30% lie about their looks or personality in their profile. So how many honey-dipped hotties would secretly be jelly-filled jollies? On first impressions, www.datingdonut.com looked like all the other dating sites. After clicking past the beefy bloke posing with a bombshell brunette with a perfect smile, I was offered up the standard photo-album quality close-ups, various mug-shots cropped from bikini beach holidays, and a few grainy granular images sent in on flashy 3G phones. I was pleased to find the website did hold a lot of dating profiles in all age categories, and while there were a disproportionate number of 26-35 year-olds, I was particularly amazed with the number of over 55’s who had either dumped their spouses, or were now living out some sort of post-retirement cyber-cheating fantasy. In the end, I was able to get what I wanted done on the site pretty quickly. The client registration and search was simple to do, the WAP site on my mobile actually showed me several full-photo candidates, and I was able to send off some SMS messages to some prospective dates on the first attempt. But most importantly, I found Jenny, a 28 year-old heath care manager from in Hampshire, who would be my subject for testing the Passion Meter. I dialed in to the Passion Meter then phoned Jenny’s number. As soon as she picked up, the technology was supposedly analyzing 129 emotional layers in her voice including excitement, confusion, stress, concentration, anticipation, eagerness and passion would be then analyzed to capture Jenny’s feelings. Passion Meter was developed in Israel and was originally designed for the secret security services industry before being approved for commercial use here in the UK. All I had to do was call and ensure I kept Jenny on the line for five to six minutes to ensure the service had enough data to analyze. Jenny was an absolute gem of a girl. After plowing through the where-you-live, what-you-do, what-you’d-really-like-to-do routine, I found her clever, interesting, chilled out, and (most importantly) keen to have only a casual relationship. In the end, I was so engaged that I’d completely forgot about the Passion Meter. When my mobile beeped after five minutes, I struggled to come up with a strong reason to hang up on her in 60 seconds without her thinking I’d lost interest. I certainly wanted to speak with her again. I decided to tell her my boss was on the other line needing some contact details (this showed my sense of loyalty, my level of professionalism, the fact I had a job). Based on her tone and interest level, I thought she was keen enough to meet me, but not desperate enough to use my number which undoubtedly showed upon on her mobile screen. Two minutes later a call came summarizing her confidence, concentration, expectation levels and overall passion rating. Although the final report sounded like it was coming from some anorak systems analyst was moonlighting as a love doctor, the results certainly matched my impressions of Jenny’s interest level. "Embarrassment level was 'Normal'. Although your friend was embarrassed from time to time, this is only expected in long calls. Your friend's concentration level was VERY HIGH during this conversation. Normally, this is a very good indication as it means that your friend is 100% with you during your call... If you can't think of any reason why your friend will be angry during the call, this indication is very promising...! Anticipation level is HIGH - Your friend was expecting something to happen during this call... if other indications are negative, it might be that your friend was too busy to speak now, but if love level is high, maybe it is time for you POP THE QUESTION??? HIGH EMOTIONS WERE DETECTED THROUGHOUT THE CONVERSATION and this means, most likely, that LOVE IS DETECTED! - Our advice? Proceed with caution! Be polite, and try to make the move!” I decided I would indeed “make the move” and have since planned a coffee meeting next weekend at my favorite North London gastro pub. But I’m left with one final dilemma; do I reveal that I had put her through a CIA-style clearing procedure before deciding to blow a £1.50 on latte for her? I guess I already have secrets to keep from my dear dating donut….

Beneath the Armor of The Iron Man

Heroes are often defined and made what they are by two things: the villains they face and the burdens they carry. Superman carries the burden of fear and anxiety, living a life afraid of breaking something, of killing someone should be be careless with his power. In some ways, Spider-man fought off depression after the death of his Uncle Ben by turning to crime-fighting. Batman turned his fear and anxiety into a weapon in his personal war, fueling his lone crusade against crime. However, in very few heroes is the relationship between burden and heroism as blatant and as prominent as in Tony Stark, the Iron Man.

The armor worn by the Iron Man, unlike the costumes of so many other heroes, is more than a mere tool for fighting crime. The armor also bears several components designed to help him cope with his physical ailments. Tony Stark's heart was compromised in Vietnam, such that the armor's primary purpose was to sustain him – keep him alive and moving – long enough to get proper medical care. In many ways, the early years of his career was marked with mild hints of depression. The armor was less of a tool in his eyes, and more a reminder of the frailty of his condition. The fact that the chronic pain he felt was alleviated better by the armor than by medication only added to his problems.

Still, despite the frailties, the Iron Man continued to do what he felt needed to be done. More so than any other hero, he risks his life whenever he engages his enemies in battle. The slightest malfunction or damage to his armor could prove fatal for him. The slightest disruption in the systems could cause the systems to go berserk and take many innocent civilians along with him. The burden has, at certain times, been too great for the character to bear. In a contrast to many other superheroes around him, Tony Stark tried to fight his depression and the pressures of his life in a very human way: alcohol.

Of course the decision to make him an alcoholic was controversial, but then, Marvel Comics has always pushed the line that way. Harry Osborne had been a drug user in an even more sensational storyline from the Spider-man comics. However, the difference here was that, unlike Osborne, Stark was a hero. As a hero, he was supposed to be above the petty squabbles and flaws of ordinary human beings. He eventually recovered, but not before his alcoholism caused great turmoil among his teammates and pushed his already strained relationships to near-breaking point.

The Iron Man character is often overlooked in the long list of superheroes that have become more human over the years. This is probably due to the fact that Tony Stark isn't quite as fitting into the comic book niche-worlds that others seem designed for. Spider-man is the everyman of the superhero world, designed so that anyone who reads his comic can find something about him that they can relate to. Superman is the vision of an ideal, a dream given form and power. The Batman represents the darkness in everyone, honed and shaped into an overwhelming power. It is arguable, but there are some that would say Tony Stark is more human than any of the above. The armor may make him seem invincible, but like a turtle, underneath the shell is something soft and vulnerable.

A Peek Through Heroes: When Drama Meets Science Fiction

One of the most top-rated television shows currently on air would be Heroes, a sci-fi series created by Tim Kring. It is an epic drama that shares the lives of seemingly ordinary people who later discovers that they possess extraordinary abilities. This TV series somewhat copies the style of American comic books in aesthetic as well as storytelling. The shows starts with a genetic professor from India, Dr. Mohinder Suresh and his father's theory that there are people with extraordinary abilities living among us humans. Starting with Claire Bennet, an indestructible cheerleader who needs to hide her abilities from her peers while working to maintain her relationship with her father, a man of mystery who has a keen interest in people like her. Niki Sanders, a Las Vegas single mother with superb strength and has a dangerous mirror image struggles to support and protect her young son Micah, a genius who can interact with electronic machinery through touch. Matt Parkman, a police detective from Los Angeles, attempts to put his ability to hear thoughts of others to good use. Meanwhile, in Japan, Hiro Nakamura's ability to travel through space-time continuum has empowered him to change the future as he travels on wild adventures with his best friend Ando Masahashi. Nathan Petrelli, with a congressional position, has the ability to fly. His dreams went down after failing to stop his younger brother Peter Petrelli, a nurse with the ability to absorb the powers of others, from exploding over New York. After this clash in New York, the fate of Sylar, a manipulative serial killer dedicated to violently collect the extraordinary powers of special people, is unknown. Meanwhile, in Dominican Republic, a young woman named Mava Herrera and her twin brother, haunted by her threatening ability, attempts to make the dangerous cross to the United States in search for answers. Monica Dawson, cousin of Micah, has mimicking abilities and would give up everything to help the people around her.

Every episode shows how these people deal with their powers and how they are somewhat interconnected. Every person has their own lifestyle, making the series much more realistic. It shows different ways of living in different countries, only to find out that they have supernatural powers. These characters offer a wide range of relationships, and are inclined to self-destruction. Of course, they fear what other people might say, and fear not knowing exactly what they could do with their powers. The show offers a life drama that everyone could easily relate to, plus a twist of extraordinary powers. In season one of this series, they gave us an introduction of how these special people become   connected by their unique and special abilities. It gave us an overview of these characters and their unique abilities, and how others try to manipulate these powers in a bad way.

Season two is still on and is focused on introducing new sets of characters, also with unique abilities as well. Many people all over the world have been constantly raving about this series, proving its success and good ratings. With each episode, they consistently show us different stories of different people with only one goal: to save the world.

A Garden Of Roses: Character Relationships In “Marimite”

While Japanese animation is better known for having flashy special effects and obscenely choreographed fight scenes, there are other shows out there that offer a very distinct visual treat. Some shows become sleeper hits, never really making the headlines but having special places in the hearts of more...discerning anime fans. Among these shows is “Maria-sama ga Miteru,” (affectionately called “Marimite” by fans) which is a show that focuses heavily on the characters' everyday lives, relationships, and personal complexities. Unlike most other anime, “Marimite” has no plot to follow, with the story instead taking time to examine each character in turn. The focus often falls on the relationship a character has with their closest companion, but can also delve deeply into the themes like how their connection with others gives them emotional stability. Some episodes highlight the depth of the devotion that the characters have for each other.

For example, several different chapters delved deeply into the emotional trauma that one of the major characters experienced. The story is one that is told in every high school, with two lovers being forced apart for some reason. In the case of “Marimite,” it could be boiled down to one-sided anxiety in the affair. One of the girls in question, Shiori, was afraid of what would happen if she let go of her lifelong dream and decided to abandon her budding romance with Sei in favor of the stability of pursuing a goal. The nature of the relationship and the ominous end was studied in an early chapter but her recovery, thanks to her friends, was examined more deeply later on in the story. For most fans, that collective “story arc” is considered to be among the chief highlights of the show and is cited as among the most emotionally stirring moments in the history of anime.



Much more prominent, but arguably less dramatic, is the growing relationship between the main character, Yumi, and her idol, Sachiko. The pair, as noted by observers who are close to them, seem to be rather different from one another. Yumi is an ordinary girl who often sees herself as normal in every way, with more than her fair share of fear and anxiety at being in such close proximity to girls whom she saw as the “royalty” of the school. Sachiko, on the other hand, was every inch a princess bred for the sole purpose of fulfilling a role and maintaining appearances. Their growing ties with one another, along with just how much they influence and cherish one another, is the most prominent among the running threads of the show. As the story progresses, Sachiko slowly starts to open up more and learn to let go of her mask of emotional stability when needed. At the same time, Yumi is learning to become more confident with herself, along with learning to get better control of her emotional outbursts.

Ultimately, there are several other relationship threads and emotional connections than the ones presented above. The friendships between girls of the same year-level, their interactions with those that are ahead of them, and the recurring visits of girls who have already graduated offer glimpses into the depth of the closeness the cast shares. As some fans of the show have said, each girl is a window in every other girl's soul, often appearing as either a reflection of something inside them or as that unidentifiable piece that is missing from their lives. The show certainly lacks the capacity for epic drama, but then again, it is a show about ordinary lives and ordinary girls. Really, how much “epic drama” does the average girl have to look forward to, anyway?