Microsoft Vista To Support Only Microsoft Products; Denies Monopolistic Intent

Microsoft announced today that its new Vista operating system would support only products made by Microsoft. The announcement immediately set off a tsunami of furious responses from all the other software companies and a renewed sharp eye from regulatory authorities. The company effusively denied that the move is in any way indicative of monopolistic practices. Microsoft CEO, Steven Ballmer, known to insiders from competing companies as The Embalmer, noted, “Since Vista is a Microsoft product, what reason on earth is there to support products made by other companies? If they want people to use their programs, they’re free to create their own desktop operating systems.” His announcement did not sufficiently palliate representatives of other major software companies. A representative from google lashed out, saying, “It wasn’t enough that the new version of Internet Explorer will have a default setting to MSN Search. Now, we understand when people click on options, there won’t be any. That just doesn’t seem fair, even though, I admit, he-he, google is the default setting in Firefox.” Questioned about the contentious issue, Bill Gates stated flatly, “I have always been very influenced by my last name, and, in this case, as it appears in the well-know phrase, ‘Sorry, the gates are closed.” It appears that the issue will finally be determined by how courts view the Microsoft insistence that other companies are still free to create their own desktop operating systems. As far as the American economy is concerned, the most significant development seems to be that, as a result of the pending flurry of lawsuits, zillions of lawyers are currently gleefully employed.