More things I have learned

Growing old does have one benefit ... experience. So, I am continuing here to share my vast pool of knowledge. Of course my girlfriend can't resist telling me I need to clean the pool, but heres the list anyway. 1. If you do anything that gets your hands wet, soapy or dirty, your nose WILL itch. 2. When you give your email out anywhere on the internet, you will soon learn all you never wanted to know about body part enhancements. 3. A cat does not love you. It simply allows you to live with it IF you pet, feed and clean it's litter box on a regular basis. Otherwise, you're history. 4. Your Co-Workers, on the other hand, DO love you ... at least as long as you continue to give them good stuff to talk about when you aren't around. 5. You are NOT the master of your fate. Your mother is. And when you get married, your wife is. 6. Life is beautiful .. Life sucks ... life is beautiful ... life sucks. Repeat as necessary. 7. There is a chip in all cars that keeps them from starting unless you stroke the dashboard correctly and sincerely mean it when you say "Come on baby .. you can do it". 8. Computers will only work correctly when you DON'T need them to. 9. A kiss is just a kiss, and a smile is just a smile, but a baby is forever. 10. There is no such thing as a ghost that can haunt you ... except in your own mind. 11. Nothing is carved in stone ... other than what will happen if you forget your other half's birthday or anniversary. 12. No matter how hard you try, you will NEVER be able to fold laundry according to your spouse's instructions. 13. Anything you think will happen, won't... and anything you think won't happen, will. 14. Love is a two way street .. unless you are on the freeway and then there may be lots of exits before you get somewhere.